Falling for the Au Pair Read online

  Frowning, I gave him my back. Now that I had opened that door, I couldn’t just close it. Embracing myself with my arms, I did my best not to look like a scared little girl, even though I knew I was one at that moment. I was in complete darkness with a man, not a boy, where I was about to say something that could completely send me packing. I could never see Rachel again.

  Turning to him, I was about to say, hey forget it, it’s nothing. I would laugh and everything would come back to normal, but then I saw his face, his expression toward me. I knew his wife had passed away a few years ago, and I knew he felt lonely in the first week I had working with him. It was there, written on a face that I haven’t even seen smile.

  Sure, I saw him laugh and smile with Rachel, but it didn’t quite ever reach his eyes. He stood there with only a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt with a possession look in his eyes. Like he wanted me the same way I wanted him. Realizing I wasn’t the only one feeling things, I decided to take a bold move.

  As if I was about to be bare in front of him, I let my arms fall. “I feel this…hm…attraction. I don’t know how to describe it, I just feel this knot inside my belly every time I look at you. I have this need to touch you in which I have to control it.” There was a few seconds of silence. “It feels like I can’t breathe.” He took a step forward and then another. “Like at this exact moment. My body is pulsing…” I could barely whisper with his proximity. “…begging for you…” Then, my back was on the wall, along with his hands inches away from my waist and my head. His knee touched the inside of my thigh, making me open up for him while I moved my leg and rested on the back of his own. His strong erection pressing, touching my most intimate, needing place of my body. “…begging for you to be inside me.”

  It was hard to breathe, hard to even think when a man like him was pressing against me on a wall in the complete dusk of night, with a bed right next to it. Where anything could happen.

  “Jesus Christ. Stop. Just stop it,” he said, his voice deep and desperate. He didn’t touch me, his hands were glued on the wall, inches from my body while his hips pressed and moved against me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, moaning and closing my eyes while my hands traveled to his waist then to his back.

  “I can’t do this. I can’t,” he whispered, but still he didn’t stop moving his hips toward mine. The friction was so amazing I was ready to reach an unbelievable orgasm.

  “Why not?” I asked, with barely my eyes opened.

  “You’re so very young. You take care of my daughter. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be here.” As his voice sounded firm and true, his hips were eager and his hands were controlled. Parts of him felt different things, and I didn’t know how he could do it. I just felt ready to combust with such pleasure. And he wasn’t even touching me!

  “I need you inside me,” I whimpered, breathless, while my head hit the wall. “Please, Thomas.”

  His hips stopped moving, and in a second, I thought I had pushed him too far. But when I looked up, I saw his eyes glued to my opened lips, with an expression so wild I knew he was ready to do something more. Maybe it was his name on my lips with such a desperate passion. I watched him move closer, his nose touching my own while his lips grazed my opened ones.

  “Take off your pants, panties, lay on the bed and open your legs for me.” It was such a deep and anxious order that the moment his weight that trapped my body to the wall faltered, I was already doing what he told me.

  Moving to the bed while taking my pants and my panties, I could feel his gaze on my every move. He didn’t move a muscle though. Only when I was settle on the bed, ready to open my thighs for him was when he took fast steps toward me. When his knees hit the mattress and he moved between my legs, my breathing was so hard and my heart beat so fast, I thought I would pass out. It was overwhelming.

  Seeing his erection marking his jeans made me wetter than I already was. And the way he stared at my eyes was beyond mesmerizing. With my peripheral vision, I saw his hands go to his belt with furious movements. His jeans dropped to his thighs along with his boxers. Watching his size, my pussy pulsed with intense need to be possessed by him.

  The sexual attraction was so strong between us that I didn’t even cared about the amount of clothes. He was practically fully closed, and I still wore my top, but that didn’t even mattered. I was so hot and ready for him that when he lowered his body to me and placed one hand on the side of my head and the other next to my waist, he penetrated me, hard.

  Without not as much as a single warning, I had the most incredible orgasm of my life.

  “Fuck,” he said while I moaned, my whole body trembling as my pussy squeezed his hard cock inside me. He was patient by letting the electrical pulses pass me by, but when my body calmed down his forehead touched mine. “Wrap your legs around my hips and look at me,” he demanded.

  Doing what I was told, I wrapped my legs around his waist and opened my eyes. Gazing at me, I saw a man ready to take what was his by right. And even though he never truly touched me with his hands, I could touch him for the both of us.

  We were lost inside a bubble of intense sexual lust. His haunted eyes never left my own, and when he started moving, I did my best to continue looking at those crystal irises. The pleasure was nerve-wracking devastating. With one hand on his back, finding his skin beneath his shirt, my nails draw blood. He closed his eyes for only a second and moaned in my parted lips. With my free hand, I touched his cheek, making him stare at me with enormous eyes.

  When he circled his hips deep inside me, I was ready once again. “You’re so big. My God, you’re amazing,” I almost yelled, out of breath. Seeing stars while still gazing at Thomas, a second orgasm crushed into me, more intense than the first one.

  Arching my back while my body shivered and I moaned, I could only hear Thomas’s words. “Jesus Christ, Audrey. I can’t move, you’re too tight. Fuck me, you’re fantastic.”

  Getting down to earth one more time was amazing, especially when Thomas began to move a little bit harder, faster, inside me. My moans were suddenly louder, desperate, and his grunts were there too, right in my mouth when our gazes met once again.

  “You’re so wet,” he murmured while the silence of the night was filled with noises of body against body and whimpers, sighs and passion. My hands went to his hair, where I pulled and my fingers felt at home.

  “Oh, Thom.”

  “Yeah, baby, I’m right here,” he moaned directly into my mouth, pounding now so wildly. “Can I come inside you.”

  There wasn’t even a single thought. I was on the pill, but even if a wasn’t, I didn’t know if I had the guts to say no to him. “Yeeees. Please.”

  It only took my words and then his hot seed was filling me. Watching him succumb, buried deep inside me while his body still moved against my wet pussy, made another orgasm surface. Then, I was there again, completely vulnerable beneath him while I went to heaven and screamed his name. It was all I wanted, feeling him drop his head to my chest while our breathing tried to take back a normal rhythm. We laid there, in that position, intertwined for I don’t know how long. Seconds later, I noticed how our clothes were wet and I could feel Thomas’s weight on top of me. Which I loved.

  But, the moment I kissed his neck, I made everything fall into pieces.

  I felt him growing hard inside me and a moan escaped my lips, but Thomas lifted his head without even a look at my direction and slid himself from me. I could see he was ready again, his erection big and long as he tucked it inside his boxers and then closed his jeans. There was silence and I didn’t know what to say. Thomas didn’t even looked at me when he went straight to the door and closed it behind him.

  I closed my eyes, trying not to feel hurt, but it was all I could feel. My pussy was wet and tingling while my whole body felt sensitive. And all that for a man that didn’t even touched me. And worse, didn’t even tried to kiss me.

  Sitting on the bed, I glanced at my pillow and a little bit
far down where his hands were glued to our entire lovemaking. The fabric around it was almost ripped apart. It was a mystery, because never, not even once, he touched me with his hands. I would find out why.

  Why was he holding back while I was giving everything I was.

  Chapter Four

  I felt ashamed. So ashamed that I left for work early in the morning before Gloria could even get home. But the feeling wasn’t for what I had done with Audrey, it was how I had handled the entire situation. Hell, I haven’t even kissed her or touched her. I would have to make up with her. Tonight, when I got home, maybe. Now that I had her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her or the things I wanted to do with her. God, why haven’t I touched her? Why didn’t my hands move?

  I could hardly believe it had actually happened, though. It was hard to put my mind around it, especially since I haven’t had anyone since my wife died, four years ago. My celibacy was over, so to speak.

  And now I wanted all of her.

  I wanted Audrey.

  I wanted to be coming inside her right at this moment.

  Only remembering her sounds, her face and the trembling of her body when she was having her orgasms with me buried deep inside her made me as hard as steel. Well, I still had an erection when I practically ran from her room last night, in which I should have not done it. She must hate me right now.

  “Hey, Thomas! What’s up with you today?” my partner, Bobby, asked. “Actually, what’s been happening with you in the past few weeks? It’s like you’re daydreaming half the time you’re here.”

  Bobby didn’t know how good of a detective he really was. I only laughed it out a bit, before the subject dropped it, and the discussion of Matt, the father of my murder victim, came up.

  “Yeah, he’ll be admitted to that psych facility until a doctor releases him. He’s mental, if you ask me,” Bobby said.

  “If someone releases him too early, I’m going to be there to stop him. He waved a gun right into Audrey and my daughter. I won’t be forgetting him anytime soon,” I said, touching my chin and feeling the whiskers. I had to shave when I got home.

  Frowning, Bobby looked at me and gave me a wicked smile. “Who’s Audrey, you nasty little bastard?” When I only gave him a face, he grew more anxious. “Come on, mate, tell me.”

  “Yeah, in your dreams,” I said. “Come on, let’s go back to work and find this murderous fucker.”

  “You read my mind.”

  Never, in years, I was counting the minutes to come home. And when I finally got there, I found Audrey reading a fairy tale story to Rachel in the living room. It was quite a sight, something to hold on to, but Audrey never looked up. It was like I wasn’t even there. I couldn’t blame her, though. But the more I heard Audrey’s voice while I was in the kitchen preparing something for us to eat, I couldn’t get anything done knowing how bad things were between us.

  When her voice quieted it, I went to the living room. I found Audrey giving a kiss on Rachel’s sleepy head. It was so easy to get that girl to sleep lately.

  “Audrey,” I said her name louder than I had wanted to. When she looked up, her ginger hair covered half her face. I didn’t know what she was thinking. “Can I please talk to you for a minute?”

  Finally taking the hair out of her face, I saw her nodding, but never quite looking at me as the way she did before. I walked to my room and waited by the door. When she passed by me and entered the room, I closed the door behind me. When I turned around, I couldn’t stop gazing at her. Audrey stood there, in the middle of my room, right next to my bed, looking as if I was about to yell at her.

  She was more beautiful in this light. Her hair glowed and her skin looked so smooth. I couldn’t believe I haven’t touched that skin yet. That was about to change.

  I took a step closer. “I wanted to apologize,” I said, my voice failing all of a sudden. “About last night, I shouldn’t have left you there.”

  Watching her, I saw her look down while putting a strand of hair behind her ear. She nodded. “You don’t regret what happened?”

  “Of course not,” I said and her gaze came back to me. She looked surprised. “I want to try again, in fact. I wasn’t good to you. I want to be better.”

  Frowning, Audrey took a step toward me. “You’re shitting me? That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

  “I can do better.” I walked the space that separated us and slowly lifted my hand to her face and waist. My thumb ran all over her neck and then her jaw. Watching as her breathing became erratic, I could feel her pulse under my palm. Her beautiful lips parted, getting ready for me. “This time I want to touch you,” I said as my hold on her waist grew tighter, receiving a moan in return. “And kiss you.” I gently turned her face and kissed her behind her ear, then I whispered, “I’ve been hard for you since the moment I walked out from you last night.” I ran my tongue while kissing her jaw.

  Audrey was soon shaking with need, I could feel it as I smashed her body her into mine. My erection cradled in her lower stomach.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me from the moment you pushed me into that wall.”

  Her whispered words struck me straight into my chest. “I know. I’m sorry I took too long,” I murmured.

  I moved my nose into her own, playing with her as her hands touched both sides of my face. Exchanging the air between our mouths, I slowly lowered my head and my teeth pulled her lower lip. She closed her eyes and moaned. Wrapping my fingers around the back of her hair, I kissed her hungrily. Like a wild beast looking for water. When our tongues found each other, we both sighed into each other’s mouths. My hand that grabbed Audrey’s waist moved to the small of her back, were I found the hem of her top and found her skin. I felt her legs shake as I crashed our bodies even tighter. Her lips were magical, her kiss, perfection.

  “Daddy? Where’s Audrey?” Rachel’s voice took us away from each other, as if a fire in another room had just started. The door opened and a sleepy little girl appeared. “I’m hungry.”

  “Let’s eat, then, baby girl,” I picked up Rachel and threw her in the air. She screamed and laughed when I caught her and began to tickle her.

  Walking to the kitchen, I made a path with Rachel’s giggles. “I love you, daddy.”

  “I love you, too, silly bear.”

  When we got to the kitchen and everyone sat around the table, I noticed a very big smile on Audrey and Rachel’s faces. They were whispering to each other as though they were the best of friends and were sharing the best secret in the universe. That made my heart melt. How a person’s life can change so much after so little time?

  I didn’t know. What I knew was that Audrey was the answer.

  When we finished dinner and Audrey offered to do the dishes, I didn’t accept. I went to her and whispered in her ear, “After you put Rachel to bed, come to me.”

  “Hey, I want to know the secret, too,” Rachel said, suddenly, sad.

  “Don’t you worry, princess. Maybe we’re giving you a castle for your birthday,” Audrey said and winked at my daughter.

  Moments later, I was left all alone in the kitchen, and for the first time since I couldn’t remember, I felt completely happy.

  *****

  I couldn’t believe what had happened.

  Thomas had kissed me, had touched me. And if that wasn’t enough, he had said those things. It seemed our sexual attraction was just the beginning. He was marvelous at every sense of the word. And when he told me he wanted to do better, it really struck me. Sure, I felt hurt and alone when we were over, but the sex had been incredible, even though he hadn’t touched me or kissed me. And now he wanted to do better? What could possibly be better?

  With Thomas, however, I knew I would be amazed. Only with him, the kiss happened after the sex part. Everything was different with him. I didn’t know what to expect.

  A beautiful mystery.

  So I when I put Rachel to sleep, I didn’t rush it, because I knew he was going to be there waiting for m
e. And Rachel deserved all the attention she could get, especially since she was my job to take care off. In which, it didn’t feel like a job anymore. I already thought about the Abram’s as my family.

  Slowly, I closed Rachel’s door and went to Thomas’ room. When I entered, I found him sitting on his bed with his elbows on his knees, in the dark, simply waiting for me.

  “Take your clothes off,” he said, standing up and turning on a lamp. A very smooth light poured into the room. “All of it this time.”

  Swallowing hard, I walked to the window and started to run my hands through all the fabrics while the vision outside assaulted me. Everything was covered in snow. It was magical. With every piece of clothing I dropped on the floor, I could hear Thomas do the same behind me.

  I didn’t want to look back over my shoulder for the simple fact of how nervous I was. My trembling hands undid the clasp of my bra and then I was fully naked. I thought my ribs would crack of how hard my heart beat against it. And my breathing, well, it was hard to breathe, especially when my hair was suddenly been pulled back, reveling my neck. I felt something wet in my shoulder, making all the hairs in my body stand up. Thomas had just kissed me there. And not just his lips, his tongue was there too, making me burn with never felt desire.

  “You don’t know how beautiful you are,” he whispered directly into my ear while chills invaded me.

  His palms went for my stomach, wildly making me turn to him. Instantly, his lips were on mine, kissing me passionately. What he hadn’t done in our first night, he was doing it now, and it was almost too consuming. My hands went to his neck while our tongues touched and intertwined together in a never stop lovemaking. My fingers moved and touched his whiskers in his jaw. It felt so good to be kissed by a man, not a boy. He crashed our bodies together, making me feel his thick erection now trapped in my lower stomach. A moan escaped my mouth while a grunt escape his own.

  His lips dropped to my neck while his fingers went running through my hair. His touches were filled with emotion as the palm that rested on the small of my back lowered to my bottom and connected our bodies even more toward one another. With closed eyes, I let myself feel his tongue while kissed on my collarbone while I ran my fingers through the thickness of his arms. He was solid and more robust than I could have ever pictured it in my head. His skin was delicious against my own.